Holding Ourselves Gently Through the Hardest Season
Grief is one of those things we all know exists, yet none of us ever truly feel prepared for. It isn’t tidy, it doesn’t follow a straight line, and it has a knack for creeping into the quiet corners of our days, especially as we move toward Christmas. While the world around us turns up the lights, music and celebration, many people are carrying a very different kind of season inside their chest.
Grief Awareness Week gives us a chance to pause and acknowledge something we often don’t speak about openly: that losing someone you love changes the shape of your world. And when you are walking that path, even the smallest things like a song, a smell or an empty chair can hit like a wave.
For some, Christmas feels heavier. The pressure to be cheerful, to get into the spirit, to keep up with traditions can feel impossible when your heart is still catching up with everything you have lost. There is also the loneliness that creeps in, even when you are not technically alone. Grief can make a crowded room feel quiet, and it can make a quiet home feel echoey and strange.
This year, I have felt that mixture myself. I lost my dad in June, and although I am not going to write at length about it here, the truth is that it has changed me. I understand more deeply what it means to navigate life while missing someone who was woven into your everyday existence. That experience does not make me an expert. Grief does not hand out qualifications, but it does mean I recognise the weight people carry, sometimes silently, as we head into this time of year.
And if this season feels difficult for you too, I want to say this plainly: there is nothing wrong with you. You are not failing Christmas. You are not failing at coping. You are simply human, carrying love that has changed shape.
One thing I have learned through my own loss and through years of walking alongside others is that grief is not something to fix. It is something to tend to, like a wound that needs gentleness, not pressure. What helps is not pretending everything is fine. It is giving yourself permission to feel what you feel. If that means scaling things back, creating new traditions or spending more time in quiet than in crowds, that is not avoidance. That is caring for yourself.
This Christmas, it might help to choose one or two small things that feel grounding: a walk in the cold air, lighting a candle in someone’s honour, saying no to what drains you, saying yes to rest, or reaching out to someone who understands. Grief softens when it has somewhere to go like a conversation, a tear, a shared memory or even a simple breath.
Grief Awareness Week reminds us that loss is part of being human. It hurts because it mattered. And you, navigating this season in your own way, are doing better than you think. Be gentle and kind to yourself. You are not walking it alone.
With care,
Karen x